My heart feels broken, I just went through this almost 2 months ago to the day.
My dog Nikko has ben very sick since being diagnosed as a diabetic almost 4 yrs ago. He has been fading & becoming weak over time, but for the most part he has been stable & doing okay, just okay. So last night everything changed for the worst. He had a stroke, we're not sure when, it was probably not noticable since he semed "normal" in the morning & afternoon.

I was getting ready to go to my cousins grauation party & Mike was getting ready to take him out for a walk. well he couldn't even stand up, he was very dispondent & his poor body was contorted like e was trying to curl up in a ball. So we took him outside, I carried him downstairs & then again back inside. We spend the night hanging out on a blanket in the living room & he eventuallt stretched out & relaxed, somewhat returning to normal behaviour. Then today Mike called as I was leaving work, he had called the vet & we has an appt. to take him & have him checked out to see what we can do for him.

The vet said that the stoke had damaged the nerves, and that he has other things going on such as damage & lesions on the brain stem. Basically we talked about it & understood that nothing we could do would change the damage back. My poor dogs quality of life had plumeted overnight. So I did the thing that I have been dreading for sometime, we decided that it was time to give him peace. So now I sit here crying, my heart hurts so much. My dog was my best friends & faithful loyal protector & guardian for the last 13 years of my life. He and I had some of the most awesome adventures, just the two of us. Hiking on the Appalachian trail for 3 days, hiking every weekend for months on end in the Ramapo Mountains. Rugby practices & games for 2 yrs, he went everywhere with me & because of that I did things I would have never done by myself. When I had no one, I had him, and he was always content to just sit by my side, and tag along where ever I went.

But that was before he got sick, now at least I have some really cool memories of my giant furry gorgeous dog. The one that made everyone stop and stare at how awesome he looked, and how cooly he stood at my side, attached to me for the first moment I brought him home.

  I'd post a million more, but it will only make me sadder.... you get the point, my dog just rocked ;)


***And to top off this fucked day, my sister in law just called me while I'm typing this to tell me that my nephew is in the hospital with a very serious infection. He got a huge gash in his leg when he was out playing paint ball on Father's Day & now it's infected. A specialist was called in & they are waiting for test results to see if the need to do surgury because the infecting is spreading up his leg. fuck.fuck.fuck***

I really just think alcohol is required to numb the pounding in my head right now. This day, officially just sucked the life out of me.

I should be ashamed at my lack of control, but I'm not, I spent the same amount of money last week, but this week was 25% off, so how could I pass that up? Of course the fact that I should be spending the money on other things is entirely besides the point. I'm working a lot this week, plus whatever I work tomorrow will be overtime, so that should make up for it right? Did I mention I don't feel bad about this at all?



Other things....hmm tried to redo the bright red highlights in my hair this morning, so far, epic failure. I did two long streaks in the back just to test it, I had a strange feeling this was  ot going to pan out. First time, no lift what so ever, ugh! Now I'm off to go blow dry & see if it's working the second time around. Have to be at work around 12, and I've felt like crap since yesterday. Oh and I almost forgot, had a lovey fever running all day too, lovely. Ayway, that's about it, still waiting to heard when I can "officially" have my promotion! Yeah, the person whose spot I'm taking finally got his promotion, waiting for one more upper technicians spot to be filled before I can find out more. But my bosses keep hinted that it's soon, they just can't officially tell me yet. I hate waiting.

So my cat Zoe has been very sick and weak for at least the past 3 weeks. He lost a lot of weight and was down to about 9 lbs., which for him is extremely skin & bones. We've been babying him & trying to keep him eating etc. I've pretty much know i would have to decide rather soon if we should just let him be put to sleep & rest. My vet felt that he wasn't in pain, but that his body was just getting to tired.

Not really in the mood to detail what just happened, but before I got ready for bed I pulled him up on to my lap to  cuddle him.  He turned his head & looked up at me staring, then started meowing a lot, so I laid him on the floor between my legs & made him comfortable. I talked to him & pet him trying to soothe my sad little cat, who was just beyond tired. Within about 3 minutes he took a few little breathes, and went forever to sleep, curled up with his head on my leg. As sad as I am, I knew it was going to happen. We had already said we were brining him to the vet tomorrow to see what they thought would be the best thing for him, I knew he wouldn't be getting better and it was just a matter of when. I'm just happy I got to hold him and comfort him as he went away, I love my little man. I've had him since he was a kitten, literally 11 years ago this month. I couldn't have hoped for him to go more peacefully, with me holding him, and him feeling safe & loved.

So good night, that's all I've got.




Zoe & Princess lounging in their basket <3

This had me laughing for a good five minutes over the cats face. So I had to share & save it, this site is addictive if you need a good laugh everyday :)

Long agonizing story short:
Since Monday we have been flooded. I have 4+ feet of water surrounding my house for about a 3-4 block radius. Plus 20-24 inches of water has come in throughout the downstairs...the entire first floor of the 2 fam is pretty much gone :( My truck is about half way under water, and all our cars & the motorcyle are at least halfway submerged or more, even though we moved those to higher ground. In the street it's up chest high so walking out is not an option....not to mention the things swimming around in the water and the floating muck that washed out from the woods.

I think later our friends that live up in the hills by the lake are going to come pick up us in there boat (& the dog too) to go stay with them...or maybe we'll stay at my brothers...so the only messenger I may have is on the phone if anyone needs to get a hold of me.

The water is predicted to rise so we think we may not stay any longer....but either way we have no car so we have to rely on our friends to help us out. I think basically I am still in disbelief about this, kinda hard to wrap your head around all the things that have been lost...like the entire contents of the garage and the back shed......everything downstairs...carpeting, floors, doors walls, appliances and all the personal items & clothes just sitting in water. I know it's just stuff....but this really sucks more than I can explain...just to sit and wait for something to happen, not knowing if the something will be better or worse :(

Only thing I can say is thankfully we have insurance to cover everything, but seriously I could cry right now...

So I already have 4 cats since we kept the kitten Mike rescued on Halloween. Plus my Siberian Husky....so that makes 5 furry friends. Now tomorrow I have to go and pick up the kittens momma (aka the shop cat) and her 4 tiny tiny kittens. They are going to stay here until they are ready to go to their new homes in a few weeks. But this means I have to take care of them plus my own, and then give them away :(
Anyway, this should make for an interesting few weeks....and so far only 2 of the kittens have homes to go to, we still have to find homes for the 2 others, momma cat has to get fixed, and then she'll need a home too. This, should be very interesting indeed. Thankfully I know several rescues that work with uor vet, and they are all very social little cats, so it shouldn't be to hard.

I am going positively out of my mind right now. I am bored beyond comprehension. I have an email from someone I want to read, but I am at work & the site is blocked, fuck. 2 1/2 more hour till I can go home.... what the hell will I do until then ?!?!?! No one seems to be on any of the forums...can't use im's from here :( I really need to get a new cell phone with im's & web surfing...maybe after the holidays I should just go & by myself one.

Going to see The Nox Curve play tonight, first time they are playing this club, so at least I have something to look forward to tonight.

Damn it I want to know wtf that email is about.....driving me crazy not friggin knowing *sigh*

Okay this wasted about 3 min. of my afternoon, to bad I type fast.

Last thought, "bored as fuck"